My name is Janice. Of course, it is not my real name. I am 31 years old. For all my life, I just had one boyfriend. I did not mean that I was too picky at things especially in choosing a lover. I just did not like them except one. His name is Josh. He was 24 at that time. Well, it seemed as if I were a cougar. He was just my student back in college. He looked like God descended from Mount Olympus with his muscular buildup and stunning height. As he stands six feet and three inches tall, I could not ask for more. One time, I made a promise not to wear panties all day long if I would be with him. Of course, I was kidding. Only my playful imaginations told me those things. And, I tried it twice. I tried it when we were in Palawan.
Then, a storm came. He flooded me with bad news after a week of adventure in Palawan. It was unexpected to hear bad news after that sweet caress and embrace. Of course, I would tell you this. Josh was caring and sweet, but we never had intimate physical contact. He was so respectful. Even if I seduced him, he chose not to take advantage of the situation and me.
“We need to break up…” He spoke.
“Why?” I simply asked.
“We lost chemistry.” He continued.
“Really, this Christmas? You want to break up with me this Christmas?” I burst into tears.
After a year of our sweet relationship, he broke up with me. It seemed that all those good times were lies. So, I asked him why he stopped loving me.
“We really needed to have a time off,” he continued speaking in a deep tone of his voice.
“If we lost chemistry, I, at least, taught physics.” Oh gosh! I jokingly said it. Quite funny, he was not kidding. He just said we lost the spark. He kept on talking even if I tried to change the subject. I tried to laugh when I said I could make firecrackers to spark again. Unfortunately, he was not joking.
So, I said, “who’s the lucky girl?”
He said nothing. And then, he vanished for eternity.
Years after we broke up, I saw him at the mall. He stood there for a few moments and then entered the eyewear boutique. I just guessed he wanted eyeglasses for a new look. His body posture changed. He looked very fairly looking and masculine. He picked some of those eyeglasses and then returned them to the stands. Suddenly, a beautiful lady approached him. He smiled at her. As the lady approached him, she kissed him. I told myself to teleport, but I couldn’t. My body froze. I could not move. That proved that I was unable to move on. Of course, there is no such thing as moving on to the situation. After a few moments, I began to return to reality. I saw them going outside the store. As soon as they stepped outside the store, they saw me. The girl was smiling at me.
Oh, gosh! They saw me stand like a freak. I could barely move a muscle. His girlfriend waved hands. I thought I recognized her.
“Janice, are you gonna watch a movie?” Brenna asked. I got confused. In the back of my mind, I would ask why my best friend Brenna and my ex-boyfriend were together this Christmas. And why?
Josh just stared at me. He felt as if he never knew me.
“No. I had to check some stuff for Christmas gift.” So, I narrated with lies.
“Oh, Darling Janice. You should know my boyfriend.” Brenna was quite excited to introduce him.
“His name is Josh, right?” I suddenly spoke and blew my breath in the air. I confidently said it. I did not care about it then.
“No. My name is John. And how do you know my twin?” John interrupted.
“He was my boyfriend a year ago… But, he broke up with me…” I cried.
“I am so sorry to hear that. My twin Josh died a year ago.” John recalled.
“Oh, I remember you. You must be Janice that my twin brother loved most…” John added.
“Why did he break up with me?” I asked him again.
“I don’t know why he did that. I told him to explain everything to you. Of course, you knew him. He did not talk much. Anyway, he died of cancer…”
That time I froze. I just missed him. The feeling and the spark just brought back to life. I could not forget Josh. Probably, I would not forget John. However, he had Brenna in his life. I knew then why he broke up with me. He did not want me to know that he was dying.
“Well, if you have time, visit my family at home. I am staying here to watch over my family when Josh left. You know where we live, right?”
“Bye, Darling Janice, and Merry Christmas,” Brenna said.
“You, too. The two of you. –”